Giving Up Control

GIVING UP CONTROL

There is nothing that marks our society more than our desire for control over… well, everything!  And this desire seems to only grow.  One example: the remote control.  Think back 30 years (if you have lived that long).  How many of these did you have in your house?  I remember growing up… we had three remote controls for the tv… myself, my sister and my brother!  Hey, one of you turn to channel 8.  Now, turn to channel 4. Today there are many more channels; and there are lots more remotes too.  I had 3 myself up until last week.  Why?  Well, one turned on the sound bar, one turned on the cable and one turned on the television. I had control over every aspect of my television viewing at the push of a button. But, be honest, don’t we sometimes feel burdened by all this “control” we have over our lives?  We have so many choices today to control our lives that it becomes dizzying.  Another trivial example: Sometimes when I go to the store to get some toothpaste, I just want toothpaste. Colgate to be exact. But, no, I have to choose between whitening, breath-freshening, gel, paste, both, tartar control… I’m not sure I am in control anymore. Today, we have no more control over our lives than we ever did.  We may even have less.  This is not a modern problem.  It is the first lie that was sold to us way back in the garden.  You can have life on your terms, the devil said, and it will be a dream come true.  You, apart from God, by yourself, should know what is good and what is evil.  Take control.  You make the choices.  You don’t have to rely on anyone.  How did that turn out anyway?  Was it a dream come true… or has it been our nightmare?  Broken relationship.  Broken lives.  A life forever after that lived in fear. So that brings us to this year’s Lenten theme. Giving it up. This year we are going to be considering some things God wants us to give up, things that we should incorporate into our lives beyond the next 40 days that will hopefully improve the depth and quality of our spiritual lives. And I will warn you now:  these things are going to be tougher to give up than chocolate, Facebook or swearing.  Today, we are starting with a big one… control. We are a society that craves control and by golly, we want it now at our fingertips!  But do we ever really have it?  Can anyone of you think of a time when you were completely, 100% in control of every aspect of your life? I can’t! As children we were controlled by our parents, our teachers and other adults, gradually being given more and more responsibility for our choices and our conduct as we grew older. Then when we were considered adults, we find that we now have jobs and bosses, taxes, mortgages, student loans and life responsibilities. We find that we are not in control of many of our life circumstances, our family or our friends.

In today’s scripture reading we move ahead many years, not in the garden but out in the desert of Israel, the devil comes calling once again to try to sell his lies, only this time Jesus offers an alternative.  Instead of trying to control, Jesus chooses to trust.  Jesus trusts in God.  The great deceiver says, “You’re the Son of God. Manifest your own bread. Prove you are God’s immortal Son. Take authority over all you see. Jesus, you know a bird in the hand is worth two in the bush, but how can you know if God is really trustworthy?”  But in each case Jesus replies with Scripture. Now, over the years people have made a great deal about that, inviting us to respond to life’s challenges by remembering or quoting Bible verses. And while there may be some merit to that, I wonder if it’s not so much that Jesus quotes Scripture to deflect temptation as it is that Jesus finds in Scripture the words to give voice to his trust.

Jesus could have taken control, had his needs met, had his confidence in God confirmed, had the respect of those around him.  But he relinquished control and chose to trust God’s will for his life. He puts himself in God’s hands. So, we can try to be in control like Adam and Eve or we can trust like Jesus.  And to trust means we place OUR lives in God’s hands.  We surrender our will to God’s will, “We let go and let God.”  And that is something that is easier said than done.

For those of you who were able to watch the movie “Breakthrough” on Friday night, or had seen it in the theaters a year ago, you saw the struggle that the mother, Joyce Smith had letting God take over the healing of her son who had fallen through the ice. Joyce struggled and struggled, taking every one in her path to task and finally discovered that it needed to be put in God’s hands. I can relate to Joyce’s dilemma, and I’m sure others can as well.  There have been many things in my life over which I wanted or thought I needed to maintain control, so I kept doing the same thing over and over and over with no great results and definitely no satisfaction or closure. Looking back, I have to wonder: How might these life events have been different if I had trusted God to work out the details? If I, each day and in every experience, had learned to let go and let God?  Can I tell you what I have learned over the years, especially the last 10 years, and quite intensely over the last two years?  When I choose to give up control, accept the situations I cannot change and trust God with the outcomes, even though my outward circumstances may not change, the way I feel about the circumstances change.  When I let go and let God, I have an inner peace that cannot be explained, and I see life in a new light. We need to let in the light more often.  We need to stop trying to protect, to rescue, to judge, and to manage the lives around us – our adult children, spouses, and friends, because we are powerless to do it. God is in control of their lives just like in our lives. Leave it to God.  It is an astonishing thought.  It can become a life-transforming thought. Now I know some of you are shaking your heads right about now, because the words “let go,” strike fear in the hearts of most of us Methodists.  Think about it.  We are Methodists - Method – ists. We have a method.  That means we have a plan.  And it also means we expect that plan to have certain results. We try with all our might to make these things happen. Letting go is not particularly in our DNA.  But the words “let go” mean to abdicate control, to release, to surrender, to give up our sense of possessiveness, and our definitions of “mine,” and “not mine.”

That is what I am talking about when I say that God wants you to give up control.  You are not to give up control to anyone or everyone.  But give up control to One who is trustworthy.  Trust God.  Now I know that is easier said than done especially in a culture that has made control into an idol.  It will take a lot of prayer.  Matthew does not mention it but I can well imagine Jesus’ 40 days were full of prayer.  We know he often went into secluded places to pray.  I am not sure it is possible to truly trust God without truly praying to God, talking with God, listening to God often.

It’s going to take some patience.  Today, we have a big problem with delayed gratification.  We want everything and we want it now.  But God’s timetable doesn’t often fit into our schedules.  God is patient, maddeningly so.  We must learn to be patient.  And we are going to have to be persistent in our prayer and in our patience.  It is easy to fast from something for a day, or a week, but, Lent’s 40 days tests us. I would like to share a cool statistic with you and that is, it takes about 21 days to form a new habit or acquire a new trait and we have 40 days. We are talking about life changes here.  It will take time not just to receive answers from God but to actually learn to trust, learn to relinquish control, so we can see the ways that God is already trustworthy and in control.

 During Lent, as in all seasons, we are given the chance, the wonderful miraculous chance, to practice ‘letting go’ - to discover a deeper sense of belonging that comes when we trust God with the details.  So, what are giving up for Lent?  How about control? Let go and let God. Let go and be blessed.  Amen.